When a family experiences the death of a baby, whatever the age or gestation, it is a devastating loss which will impact the entire family.
After baby loss, the focus from both families and clinicians tends to be towards the mum/birthing parent. However, we know that the loss is devastating, no matter whether or not you carried the baby.
Through our work with families who experience baby loss, we have seen a lot of common themes raised by dads, such as:
- Lack of support for fathers
- Feeling like their loss is “lesser” than the loss of the mum/birthing parent
- Pressure of needing to be “strong” for their family and put on a brave face
- Financial pressure of needing to financially provide for their family
- Feeling like they have “failed” by not protecting their family
- Taboos around men not showing emotions preventing them from sharing
Although a majority of baby loss charities are available for any family member, the feedback we receive is often that dads feel like they are mainly for mums/birthing parents. Therefore, they do not feel entitled to the help that these charities give. Even if dads do want to try and obtain help from the charities, it can often feel like a female dominated environment, which can further lead to feelings of isolation and feeling less able to share.
Daddys with Angels
Enable Law are partnered with Daddys with Angels, who support dads, or any male family members, following the loss of a child at any age or gestation.
It is an international charity and provides support groups for men, providing a safe space for sharing, ranting, and supporting. It was founded by Paul, Cully-Sloan in 2010 after the loss of his son, T.J. His personal experience, which resonates with so many male family members, was that there was no available support for dads. He recognised that men often grieve differently to others and they need a safe space to support them. Unfortunately, Paul passed away in February 2019 and his legacy is now continued by his colleagues who were inspired by Paul’s vision and his caring and supportive nature.
During Baby Loss Awareness Week, many people will be reflecting on the losses that they have suffered, and it is important that this help is available. By providing these “no judgement” safe spaces, Daddys with Angels attempts to break down the feelings of isolation that dads, and other male family members, can feel following baby loss. As the feelings of isolation for dads break down, the other feelings of needing to be strong, having “failed” or financial pressures can be discussed and worked through in a safe and supportive environment.
Find out more about the work of Daddys with Angels here.
How can we help?
Legal support for dads is often not as readily available as legal help for mums/birthing parents, however at Enable Law we specialise in “secondary victim” claims which dads can sometimes be eligible for. If you want advice about whether or not you can bring a claim regarding the events surrounding the loss of your baby, please get in touch with the specialist baby loss team.
